Tagged: Humor

Asked and Answered

Lately I’ve been fielding a lot of questions. Questions like…

  • “Did you know that haircut makes the sunburn on your ears stand out even more than it might have otherwise?”
  • “Are you absolutely, positively sure that you want to cancel your business account with Yelp? Can we call you three times a day just in case you change your mind?”
  • “Is anyone in here? I thought I heard crying.”
  • “What is that in your teeth?”
  • “Why did you start a YouTube channel, Stephanie? Why? Why, why, why? Why would anyone do such a thing?

All but two of those queries have me at a loss. I really, really do want to cancel the Yelp account, and I started Life & Steph because time travel hasn’t been invented yet. Duh.

If there’s an awkward middle school student inside you, please consider subscribing. If there isn’t an awkward middle school student inside you, please consider subscribing to tell us your secret.

How to Handle Criticism Like Some Kind of Adult

I’ll be the first to admit that I can be cocky.

I’m certainly not egotistical about everything — most of my life is spent self-consciously over-analyzing everything I do. (For example, I forgot the word “party” earlier today and said “shebang” instead and it’s been haunting me for 11 hours now. Shebang.) There are a few areas, though, in which I have such complete confidence in myself that even I find it annoying.

Areas in which I Am Cocky

  1. I’m a pretty good writer.
  2. I’m a really good Google searcher.
  3. I have the PLU code for bananas memorized a decade after leaving the grocery industry. It’s not really a big deal. Quit applauding, you’re making me blush.
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Listen, I’m no hero.

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Identity Crisis

I’ve been alive for more than a quarter of a century and I have no idea who I am.

Sure, I know some stuff about me. I know what I like — animals, smoothies, puns — and I know what I dislike — snakes, human papillomavirus, celery. I know I’m five-foot-four. (Fine. I’m five-foot-three-and-a-quarter.) I know I’m a brunette. (Fine. I know I’m blonde and ashamed of it.) I know my people came from Oklahoma, and way before that some of them were kicked out of Scotland. I know I’m good at writing and bad at confrontation. I know I don’t believe in ghosts unless I’m in a creepy basement and that I believe in miracles since you came along.

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You sexy thang.

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Fun Facts about Episode #3 of Life & Steph

  1. A computer killed itself during the production of this episode. I don’t think that was a reflection on the quality of the jokes.
  2. This is the 3,000th video I’ve forced my kid brother to participate in against his will. I also make him mow the lawn at my house, because I am afraid of the lawn mower. Sometimes I buy him candy to make up for this behavior.
  3. I have yet to find a bug that’s cool enough to make people want to be my friend.

 

P.S., A true friend of mine would subscribe to Life and Steph. Hint, hint.

Being New Is Weird.

You know the opening credits to the original “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” where the machines are squirting out chocolate, and stirring chocolate, and smoothing chocolate? You know the ones I mean. They’re the most soothing opening credits in the history of movies.

Well now I live in them. By “live,” I mean “work,” and by “in them,” I mean “in a similarly soothing candy factory, but one in which no one wears purple velvet suits or performs a dance routine when children have potentially fatal mishaps.”

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I know this because I was there for Take Your Child to Work Day.

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