New Years Resolutions:

1) Don’t die.

2) Maybe shave your legs more often.

3) Continue to avoid reptiles.

4) Never ever return to a hair salon, barber shop, or any situation where scissors will come within a foot of your head.

That’s right– I’m never cutting my hair again, and I’ll tell you why. A couple weeks ago I was briefly the owner of a mullet. And not the fish kind.

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